CENTER FOR STUDENT ADVOCACY AND WELLNESS

Masturbation is solo sexual exploration! This can include things like looking at your body, self-touch, use of toys, fantasy, engaging in erotic content, or a combination of all of these. Masturbation is an umbrella term! 

Masturbation is completely normal! People masturbate for different reasons, and no matter what yours is, there is no shame in masturbating. 

Society creates a lot of shame and stigma around masturbation. Despite the stigma, most people will masturbate in their lifetime. It is a completely normal behavior that can help you to better understand your body, your desires, and what kinds of touch you enjoy. Also, studies have found that masturbation can be good for you!  

Here are some of the potential benefits of masturbation:  

• Stress relief 
• Pain relief 
• Building a more positive self-image 
• Building a sense of familiarity with body parts seen as private which can be beneficial for health screenings 
• Strengthen pelvic floor 
• Improve sleep quality 
• Teach about our turn ons and turn offs 
• It can feel really good! 

Masturbation Tips

• Wash your hands before and after touching your genitals or anus. This will prevent bacteria from traveling between your hands, genitals, and butt. 
• Set the mood! Find a comfortable, private place to play. Let your mind wander to whatever feels good.  
• Use lube! Lube helps to reduce friction in sensitive places, which can decrease discomfort and increase pleasure.  
• If you are using sex toys, make sure that they are made of non-porous materials designed to be on or inside of bodies. These materials can include: silicone, ABS plastic, acrylic, ceramic, glass, metal, and wood that has been finished.  
• If you are using sex toys, clean them! Bacteria and other pathogens can live on your sex toys, and they can cause infections if they are not cleaned. If you want to make clean up a little easier, consider using a barrier like a condom or glove on your toys! 
• Sharing toys with a partner can be fun, but it can also increase the risk of spreading bacteria or STIs. Before sharing a toy, clean it properly. If sharing a toy with more than one partner, consider using a condom or other barrier for an extra layer of protection. For more information, visit Planned Parenthood. 

If you are interested in having partnered sex, with one or multiple partners, it’s good to know how to engage in healthier sexual relationships with other people and how to make it mutually pleasurable! You deserve to engage in consensual, safe, and pleasurable sexual activities with partners.  

Communication: You and your partners should have open and honest communication about what you like and don’t like. This is important because it ensures the interaction is consensual and pleasurable! Communicate to your partners what feels good and what doesn’t so that it can be as enjoyable for all. Check in before, during, and after an encounter to reflect on what went well, what might need to be different, and what you might be looking forward to trying in the future. Talk about your STI status and what, if any, measures you’d like to take to prevent pregnancy.  

Warming up: Taking time with your partners to get everyone in the mood for sex can be a wonderful way to negotiate how you engage, what you want to do together, and if and when you are ready to stop. This can include all kinds of activities, like kissing and touching to watching erotic content. Some folks call this warmup period foreplay, as it often happens before penetrative sex. You can read more about this on . 

Lube: Lube is important and helpful for having enjoyable sex. Some body parts, like the vagina and the mouth, produce natural lubrication. Others, like the anus, don’t produce natural lubrication. Adding lube to your sexual routine can help increase pleasure and decrease discomfort caused by friction and dryness. You can find both silicone and water-based lube in the CSAW office! 

Sexual activities: Partnered sex is not a one-size-fits-all experience. Some partners enjoy penetration. Others may prefer oral sex. Some folks think frottage, also known as dry humping, is the best way to get off. Others might prefer using toys. Ultimately, there is no one way to do it. There is only the way you and your partners choose to do it.  

You might be interested in trying kink or BDSM for the first time and exploring your own pleasure and desires. You should choose a sexual partners that you feel comfortable with when trying Kink or BDSM activities always, but especially for the first time.  

• Kink is broadly defined as taboo sexual behaviors, although many of these behaviors are common.  
• Fetish is a type of kink where a person is aroused by a non-genital body part or a specific object. 
• BDSM is an acronym which stands for a few things: Bondage & discipline, dominance & submission, and sadomasochism. These are sex acts which play with power dynamics or giving and receiving pain.  

There’s a lot to learn about and . 

Kink, BDSM, and Pleasure 

Kink and BDSM should be pleasurable! There are many different activities you can try and explore to find what is most pleasurable and fun for you. 

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Kink, BDSM, and Consent

It is completely okay to stop when trying something new if it makes you uncomfortable or if you don’t like it. Your partners should respect your request and stop immediately. They should not pressure you to keep going.  

Trying kink and BDSM is completely up to you. It does not and never will mean that you automatically and always agree to sexual activities like being slapped, choked, or called names. Kink and BDSM are sexual acts that require consent and negotiation, just like anything else. If you believe you have experienced sexual violence, there are resources available to support you. 

Safe Words & Safe Actions  

A safe word is a word used in BDSM scenes to stop play. Safe words are necessary to ensure that any kinky sexual activity is safer, pleasurable, and consensual. They are typically negotiated and agreed upon ahead of a scene to make sure everyone knows what should happen if they are said. Some in the BDSM community like to build different kinds of safe words into their scene, such as words that mean “caution” or slow down to renegotiate as well as words that mean to stop the scene entirely. Many folks use the “stoplight” system as a quick check in during a scene: Green for all good to go, yellow meaning caution or pause, and red meaning stop.  

A safe action is often paired with a safe word, especially in scenes where a partner may be unable to verbally communicate, like if their mouth is full or their voice restricted in some way. A safe action operates like a safe word; it is something negotiated and agreed upon by partners before the scene begins. Some folks pair their safe actions with safe words to be sure there is no ambiguity about a need to stop or slow down in a scene.  

Consent during kinky sex or BDSM scenes is more than just having a safe word! Other dynamics and pressures can mean that a safe word isn’t necessarily safe to say. Consent should be knowing, voluntary, active, present, and ongoing, no matter the activity. When it comes to kinky sexual activity, consent should always be a dialogue.  

After Care

refers to the time you and your partners take after engaging in kink or BDSM play to check in with your emotional and physical needs. Certain acts can be physically and psychologically taxing, so it’s important to take time for grounding and checking in with yourself and your partners. Much like the scene itself, after care is usually negotiated between partners because everyone’s needs are going to be different. Some folks need time alone; others want to cuddle up to their scene partner and debrief.

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